The Color Green, 2022

If you’d asked me several months ago what my album was about, I would have said grace; because that’s where I was looking and what I was hoping for. I felt desperate, a little scared even.

I don’t remember why, but I thought of the woman who reached out to touch Jesus’ garment, who was healed, and commended for her faith. I was wondering about the nature of this thing we call faith, or trust, by which we are united to Christ our Lord. I remembered something my Dad had wondered aloud at one point: if Jesus had simply said, “Who among you has such exceptional faith?” would this woman have had any idea that he was calling to her?

Maybe. But honestly, maybe not. It’s speculation either way, seeing as he asked who touched him. What we do know is that she was trembling when she came forward.

I didn’t know what to do except reach out to Jesus, and that felt anything but faithful. “If I was faithful, I wouldn’t need to reach out to him,” or some other nonsense.

Now if you ask me what my album is about, I will still start by saying that it’s about the grace of God because that’s always first. But I will also say that it’s about faith, which I’m not sure is much more than looking with some desperation, and a little fear, toward the Savior. We can’t afford to tackle faith or discipleship before we look to Jesus. The most repeated command in Scripture is to listen. Maybe there’s more going on than meets the eye. And you know what? Faith doesn’t have to see itself. So if we can’t see our own faith, maybe that’s okay. We look to Christ. We can all pray, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”